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The Anti-Marriage Manifesto

The Anti-Marriage Manifesto

It is obscene to me that in the age of technology and information so many are still infatuated with Marriage. Gay marriage is being debated and fought for around the United States. Each state is trying to figure out is the uniting of two gay people acceptable or not. I love a good debate but it is clear to me that all marriage is wrong. Perhaps if not wrong then definitely marriage is nonsense. It is unnecessary and purely a joke at this point. It is sad to see the need and thirst for this so called union in so many citizens.

First we begin with the process. According to our great society someone is supposed to spend three to five paychecks on a diamond engagement ring. The idea is to spend enough money to show how much you love your spouse. The ring should reflect how much this person is worth. Silly me, I was under the impression that we stop putting a value on people when slavery ended. I didn’t know that we were still envisioning a price when we looked at another human being. Perhaps next time I’m looking for a significant other I should sing “how much is that dog in the window”. Clearly the Diamond Industry who bamboozled everyone long ago still has a very strong hold on the minds of our people.

Assuming your significant other accepts this enormously overpriced rock, the process continues. Now the real spectacle begins! Now you and your soon to be spouse must plan an elaborate ceremony and a party to celebrate right after. For the next few weeks, months, or years the two of you, and both of your families must plan out how you will spend a fortune on this Circus we call a wedding. Your friends and extended family will then judge you based on how impressive the circus show (wedding) is. The concept is to out-due everyone else in your inner circle that’s been married and make this event memorable for every person who is in attendance. Clearly this scam should have died at inception.

Once you have planned the whole shebang we get to what is probably the most comical part of it all. The state’s representative (usually a pastor of some sort) asks you to take your significant other as your equal and partner for the rest of your miserable lives. You must agree to deal with this person through sickness and health until you both return to the earth and the deity you believe in. Forever, all of eternity, your entire life span from then on, will be spent with one person. No matter what happens, you will stay with this person forever. Eternity is infinite. What would make anyone believe that this is possible or even makes sense to commit to is beyond me. When I was younger I hated Broccoli. I love Broccoli now. When I was younger I loved Sugary cereals. Now I don’t like them at all. How can you honestly believe that you will be able to stay in love, and committed to this one person for the rest of your life? I’m not saying it’s impossible but seriously, who in their right mind would want to deal with one person’s personality and nonsense for that long?

Those are the steps for a traditional marriage. Going back for centuries people have been doing my favorite kind of marriage, arranged marriages. This is when your parents choose your spouse. HA! What a joke. In this tradition you give your offspring to the offspring of another person simply because you (the parent) feel that this person or their family would match your offspring or your family perfect. Off the back you can probably figure out how these people are handpicked. It would be ridiculously easy for me to say well, I want to have my doctor’s son marry my daughter simply because they are wealthy. Now my poor daughter will have to live with the son or daughter of my doctor for the rest of her life. She will have no choice, no options, or say so. She must simply follow the instructions and the tradition. For the rest of her life whether she likes it or not she is stuck with this other person. You cannot be serious!

Furthermore, a great percentage of marriages do not last forever. They end in ugly, expensive, heartbreaking divorces. Siblings are separated, families are torn apart, and relationships are abolished. All because somewhere along the way something happened that made the couple realize that they were no longer meant to be together forever. Maybe someone cheated and got caught. Perhaps the children were neglected by one parent and the other overwhelmed parent realized that they are truly alone and should not remain attached to this person legally. It is a sad fact but seldom does a couple last forever. Why ruin that happy memory of the Circus performance you once had together with an ugly breakup that rips apart the once great union of two people and their families?

If you do believe in forever I will not continue to scrutinize you. My question to you becomes why would your simple mind also believe that the state must unify you? Why would anyone feel that they must have a government document that states that they will be with their significant other for all of eternity? It is simply a power play by the Government. There is no reason why you need to do this ensemble of money and “tradition” in order to live with or cherish a person for all of your life. If you truly do love someone and you are so blinded by love that you want to be with them until you take your very last breath, then do it. There is no need for you to spend three paychecks on a ring that is worth less than one of your paychecks, spend a fortune on impressing people with the Circus performance and a celebration to follow. Mind you, I was kind in leaving out the honeymoon. I only spare you because it is just as comical as the film “Who Framed Roger Rabbit”.

If you dare to think about the reward system that the government has set up for married couples I will obliterate that thought as well. If you feel that you must get married for medical or financial unity then that too is a hoax. Another trick from the jester we call Big Brother. Yes, there are certain perks that come with being married. However these so called perks are simply what I stated before. They are a phony reward system. Those same things can be assigned by an attorney. You don’t even need to have the same attorney to do so. You can write a will and take other steps to allow your spouse to have the accessibility that you deem them worthy of. It may be a longer process but in reality you are saving money and avoiding the performance that society and the government want you to do in ring number three.

I declare that we should ban all marriage! No one should follow the elaborate song and dance that has become a tradition in our great society. We should empower ourselves by granting power to the people we feel are worthy of sharing our lives with us. We should stop throwing away paychecks, and down payments on rings that the Diamond Industry knows are worth pennies in reality. No longer shall we allow these monetary things take hold of us and force us into following social protocol. Shame on those who aim to make others jealous by outdoing their Circus with a greater one of their own.

If not for the want to find an escape from The Matrix and free your mind, erase marriage from your life and your vocabulary to free your pockets. You can spend those five paychecks on something more beneficial for yourself, your family or your spouse. You can spend the fortune you would spend on putting that Circus act together on something with a real value. You can take many trips away together with that same money; instead of just taking one “grand” trip to the place that seemed great and fit your budget. Focus not on sexual purity and the need for wearing white. Focus on your bank account or simply the need to do what’s right.