Save Your Marriage After Infidelity – 3 Secrets on How to Stop Blaming After the Affair Has Ended

Discover these 3 secrets to save your marriage after infidelity so you can learn how to stop blaming each other after the affair has ended, and focus your energy on repairing your marriage instead. Have you been trying hard to save you marriage now that you know your partner cheated, but has since ended the affair? I know how emotionally confusing it is for you. One moment, you want to be close to your spouse, the next moment, you feel intense hate, blame and resentment. Working towards rebuilding your marriage means you need to work through the feeling of blaming each other for ruining your marriage.

Secret #1. Focus on the present.

If you have been blaming your partner for what has happened in the past, you are destined to lose this battle. Why? Because the past is over. No matter what you do, there is absolutely nothing you can do to change the past.

The only thing you can change is what is happening now, and what will happen in the future. I urge you to focus on what your spouse is currently doing to earn your trust. There is no better time than now to cherish and appreciate his or her effort. Don’t regret taking your partner for granted and damaging your relationship further.

Secret #2. Focus on rediscovering each other.

This will probably come as a shock to you, but the person you are married to today, is not the same person you married yesterday! No matter who you are, we are changing everyday as a result of new experiences. You can ask each other more about your childhood dreams, the food they hated as a child, etc.

It takes some effort, but getting to know a person’s history is something you do when you were dating, right? Sharing small intimate details is what drew you closer to each other. Let this help rebuild your bond too.

Secret #3. Keep moving forward by learning new things together.

If you do nothing else but attend a marriage course together, it will do wonders for your relationship. Going through an ecourse together, put my husband and I on the same page. We now have a common language and starting point, to help discuss our issues. The course clearly explained to us what we were going through, and gave us exercises to follow so we had clarity about what to do next. It was a tremendous relief. More importantly, it helped us to stop blaming each other.

How many times have you wished this was all a nightmare, and none of it had actually happened?

Unfortunately, it’s just not the case. So my advice to you is to just take it one day at a time and stick to whatever plan you and your spouse have agreed on. If you are at a loss at what to do, I highly recommend you seek the help of marriage-saving experts who’ve successfully helped other couples rebuild their marriage after infidelity.